'Your silence is weak': Brodie Kane's message to NZ men over 'rape academy'

Content Warning: This piece discusses sexual violence and rape. If this is a difficult topic for you, please know there is support available. You can reach Safe To Talk 24/7 at safetotalk.nz, by calling 0800 044 334, or texting 4334.

In March, a massive investigation by CNN pulled back the curtain on something truly stomach-turning: A global, underground network dedicated to drugging and sexually abusing unconscious women.

It started on a site called Motherless.com, where reporters found a subculture of "sleep content." This was just the entryway to a private Telegram group named "Zzz," where nearly 1,000 men were effectively running a "rape academy", sharing tips, techniques, and videos of drug-facilitated sexual assaults.

Truly horrifying.

One of the most jarring parts of the investigation was the breach of intimacy by those you’re meant to trust above all others, husbands.

Reacting to the news, Let Her Finish host Brodie Kane called out the silence of influential New Zealand men. Her message was blunt, channeling the deep exhaustion and frustration so many women feel right now. 

“If you’re a male influencer or a man with a platform in New Zealand right now, your silence is deafening, and it’s weak,” Brodie shared. “I’m so sick of it being women like me yelling. I want men to yell with me.”

Brodie’s point is one we can’t ignore.

The culture that allows these "rape academies" to exist is fed by the small things. The jokes, the way mates talk about women, and the choice to stay quiet when things feel "off."

As she puts it: “If you don't start being more aware of how you speak to women or how your mates speak or joke or do anything about women, then you are part of the problem.”

Brodie’s message is an important one, urging men to take accountability for their language and to call out their peers to help shift the culture from within.

For Gracie Hitchcock from the 'Let Her Finish' podcast, the news wasn’t just a headline. As a mum of two young boys, it stayed with her in a way she didn’t expect. 

“Hearing about women being harmed while they're unconscious, and that this abuse is being taught and encouraged online, is just deeply unsettling,” Gracie says. “It’s not just that it exists. It’s the fact that somewhere along the line, it was made to feel 'acceptable' in certain corners of the world.”

She spoke about the quiet, consistent work of modelling respect and empathy for her sons. “I don’t want to raise them in fear,” she says, "but I do want to raise them with awareness and compassion and with a clear understanding of what it means to care for another person's safety and dignity.”

She ended with a powerful reminder of the reality beyond the headline: "For many, this isn't just a news story. This is something they've lived. That's why we have to do better, starting at home.”

Co-host Tegan Yorwarth added to the emotional discussion by touching on the scale of visits to this site. “When you hear that these sites get 62 million visits, it’s a reminder that this isn’t just a few "monsters" in a dark corner; it’s happening on platforms that are easily accessible to anyone.

“To think a site with that much traffic has, has an area, a facet of it that anyone can access that has something so vile  that makes me feel like it could be anyone I know. And that’s scary”

We understand this is heavy news that can be difficult to digest amidst everything else happening in the world.

However, it is more important than ever to speak up, raise awareness, and encourage the men in our lives to join these conversations and share in our collective anger. 

Are you or is someone you know struggling? Here are some resources available to support you, and remember, it's okay to talk.

• Lifeline 0800 543 354 or free text 4357 (HELP)

• Youthline 0800 376 633 or free text 234

• Samaritans 0800 726 666

• Suicide Crisis Helpline 0508 828 865

• Free call or text 1737 for support from a trained counsellor

• Call the Alcohol Drug Helpline on 0800 787 797

• Depression Helpline 0800 111 757 or free text 4202