In a moment of questionable judgement, The Morning Rumble asked AI tool ChatGPT the big question: are we hot or not?
Turns out, asking a brutally honest AI to judge your looks isn’t gonna leave you with great self-esteem. But shit it gave us all a laugh. Check out what it had to say about each member of The Morning Rumble below.
Bryce
It seems as though ChatGPT reckons Bryce looks like a tattooed craft beer dad who peaked at a kimchi workshop… but it did say he was weirdly hot. Here’s what it had to say:
You look like a streetwear catalog and a craft beer festival had a baby—and then that baby grew up, got tattoo sleeves, and became the fun stepdad who lets the kids swear in the car. That shirt? It’s either an abstract art piece or a giant cabbage that lost its will to live. The color scheme screams, “I make my own kimchi and talk about it too much.”
You’ve got strong Wellington brewery meets failed graphic novel villain energy. And that hat? Oh, we see you. The guy who won’t say he’s bald but will aggressively wear a cap indoors for the next 25 years. It’s not a fashion statement—it’s a coping mechanism stitched with denial and hipster threads.
In conclusion: you look like someone who’s three flat whites deep, has an opinion on oat milk froth texture, and is weirdly hot in a barista-meets-muralist kind of way. Unironically, it’s working. But only because you believe it is.
Mulls
Next up was Mulls, who ChatGPT didn’t necessarily think was not-hot, but reckoned he looks like a Sunday afternoon in human form.. Mildly confused, slightly over it, and dressed to disappear. Honestly, not far off:
You’re out here dressed like you’re about to grill burgers at a neighborhood BBQ you didn’t want to host. That textured white shirt? It’s not a bad shirt — but it’s got retirement community vibes, and not in the cool coastal-grandpa way. More like “asks to speak to the manager at Cheesecake Factory because the air conditioning is too cold.”
That cap? It looks like it was free with a gas station car wash. It’s so washed-out it’s practically a ghost. You’re not hiding your hairline — you’re just giving up hope.
The glasses? Respectable, sure — but they scream “tech startup dad who’s still waiting on his crypto to bounce back.”
Overall vibe: “If Sunday afternoon had a human form.” You’re not ugly. But you dress like you’re trying really hard not to stand out — and succeeding.
Mel
Next up was without a doubt the best looking member of The Morning Rumble, Mel. And of course ChatGPT reckoned she’s hot… but in an unhinged way that should come with a warning label:
You’ve got the energy of a rock chick who just got kicked out of a My Chemical Romance tribute band for being too much. That sheer, abstract-print top looks like it’s trying to be edgy and artsy, but let’s be real—it’s giving “I just walked through a lava lamp explosion.” And the black vinyl skirt? Bold choice. Shiny enough to use as a mirror to check your own reflection and ask, “Am I too much?” (Spoiler: yes, and that’s the point.)
The devil horns and tongue out? Iconic… in a “this was my Tinder profile in 2016” kind of way. You’re doing rockstar cosplay with the commitment of someone who once dated a guy in a band and hasn’t emotionally left the green room since. But here’s the kicker—you own it. You’re not trying to blend in, you’re trying to cause a scene. And you do. Gloriously. So yeah, you’re hot. But like… unhinged hot. The best kind.
Mitch
Mitch’s roast was next, and ChatGPT thought he looked like he was confused between being a rugged outdoorsman and a catalog model. Honestly, not as brutal as we thought it would’ve been, but still pretty brutal:
You look like you wandered out of a REI catalog photoshoot but forgot to bring the actual charisma. That rain jacket? It’s trying so hard to say “I’m ready for adventure,” but all I’m getting is “substitute science teacher on a field trip.” It’s waterproof, sure — but it’s also personality-proof.
The backwards hat? Bro. That’s the universal symbol for “I peaked during a high school camping trip and never let it go.” It’s also aggressively giving “I just got done vaping behind a gas station, but I’m a chill guy, I swear.”
And your facial expression? It’s like you were trying to smile but remembered mid-pose that you left the oven on. It’s got big “I’m pretending I’m not cold” energy.
Overall vibe: You look like you start conversations with, “Fun fact: I actually know how to build a fire without matches.” Which is cool… unless you’re doing it in the middle of a Starbucks.
That said, you’ve got potential. Rugged outdoorsman is a solid lane, but you need to commit: either upgrade to “stylish backwoods explorer” or lean into the street-style-lumberjack aesthetic.
Rog
ChatGPT had some semi-nice things to say about Rog, but mostly insults. In fact, Rog is the only person that ChatGPT outrightly said was not hot:
Alright, let’s roast this denim-clad midlife rebellion in full force:
That denim shirt is clinging on for relevance harder than your last remaining follicles. And what’s the deal with that t-shirt underneath? It looks like it lost a fight with a weed whacker. Vintage grunge? More like accidentally sat too close to a sparkler at Guy Fawkes.
Your expression says, “I’m tough,” but your vibe says, “I got winded tying my shoes.” And those fingers? That’s not a rock pose—that’s arthritis auditioning for the sequel to Spinal Tap.
BUT—you are, inexplicably, kinda nailing the look. There’s something magnetic about a guy who leans so hard into the “cool uncle who still uses the word ‘rad’ unironically” aesthetic. It’s chaotic. It’s cringey. It’s… iconic.
In short: You’re not hot, you’re hot mess adjacent, and honestly—it suits you.
Ryan
Just like when Producer Ryan does his ‘Research Ryan’ segment, you never wanna be last. Ironically, Ryan was last, and arguably had the most brutal roast:
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for this guy—looking like a GAP model who got lost on the way to a Sears catalog shoot.
But let’s address the elephant in the room… or should I say the elephant-sized nose in the room. My man’s nose is so big, it has its own zip code. TSA scans it separately when he flies. You don’t breathe air with that thing—you filter pollution.
That nose has been in more places than his passport. NASA called; they want to rent it for satellite coverage. Seriously, how does he not tip forward every time he sneezes?
And look at him standing there, arms crossed like he just made a life-changing decision at Trader Joe’s. The only thing more uncertain than his fashion choices is whether that nose can legally count as a carry-on item.
This guy’s nose isn’t just prominent—it’s a landmark. Google Maps redirects traffic around it.
So.. are The Morning Rumble hot?
According to ChatGPT… not really. At best, they’re “hot mess adjacent,” “unhinged hot,” or “trying not to stand out and succeeding.” At worst, Ryan’s nose is getting compared to a GPS landmark.
But let's be honest, Ryan’s used to those kinds of comments from his colleagues anyway.
