Taylor Momsen’s been through it, and she’s finally talking about how she pulled herself out of the darkest years of her life.

Note: This article discusses mental health. If you or someone you know is struggling, check out a bunch of mental health links and resources here. 

The Pretty Reckless singer joined Alex Cooper on the Call Her Daddy podcast and talked about music, depression, her grief, substance abuse, and healing. 

If you’re a fan of Momsen, you’ll enjoy this. It was a pretty moving episode. 

After transitioning from acting to singing in the pursuit of her dream, Taylor formed The Pretty Reckless with a group of her mates, drawing inspiration from Soundgarden and The Beatles. 

When Soundgarden’s Chris Cornell passed away unexpectedly on tour in 2017, Taylor fell into a dark depression. She describes this as "the start of my dark period”. 

A year later, her best friend and producer, Kato Khandwala, passed away in a motorcycle accident. 

"That was the nail in the coffin for me," Momsen said. "It was a giant one-two punch because they were not that far apart from each other. I just went off the rails. I didn't handle that well. I got very heavy into substance abuse and this cloud of depression that I couldn't shake."

She recalls that she “essentially gave up” and felt like “everything she loved” was no longer there, so “what’s the fucking point?” 

The shame of being so vulnerable meant, in turn, she shut out her support system and isolated herself. She describes that period as her being “kind of unreachable”. 

Her solace in life, music, became a part of the pain. She couldn’t listen to her two pillars of music, Soundgarden and The Beatles, because of all the memories that she “couldn’t handle”. 

Coping with loss and finding her feet

"I had to make a very conscious choice at a point where I was either going to live or I was going to die, and I had to either stop everything I was doing and get my life together, or this was going to kill me,” she said.  

I luckily chose to move forward, but it was that serious.

After taking some time to heal, Momsen says she gradually started listening to all the music that once formed her identity, and was eventually able to find comfort in listening to Soundgarden once again. 

Using all of the emotions she’d experienced, she wrote The Pretty Reckless’ fourth album, Death By Rock and Roll, which she says “poured out” of her in a way she hadn’t experienced before. 

It wasn’t intended to be released, Taylor admitted: “I wrote it for me… but getting it out was the first step of me being able to turn the corner.” 

What did Taylor learn from all of this? 

Taylor says she realised that missing someone never goes away, but “the intensity does”. 

“When it happens, you’re sliced down the middle, you’re bleeding everywhere… as time passes, that wound heals, and you’re left with a massive scar”. 

She thinks of everyone she’s lost as a scar she carries with her every day, and she’s “proud to have those scars”. 

Taylor has some moving advice for anybody who is struggling with depression and is desperate to get to the other side. 

"If you can just wait it out, you will get to the other side... It does get better. And the fucked up thing about that is when people say that to you and you're in it, you want to punch them in the face."

While she acknowledges that it’s a frustrating sentiment to receive, she assures that “there is another side waiting for you”. 

Fucking great stuff, Taylor, we are right here beside ya. 

Are you or someone you know struggling with mental health? Check out a bunch of helpful links or resources here.