‘Supposed to Be Our Safe Space’: How Netflix Has SCREWED Parents

The amount of times in the last few weeks that I have stormed out of my room and into the lounge to tell my son off for watching YouTube is ridiculous.

And every single time, he turns around and looks at me with this smart-arse little face that says:

“It’s not YouTube. It’s Netflix.”

Excuse me?

So eventually I took the remote off him, started scrolling through what he was watching and realised something horrifying.

Netflix has basically put YouTube on Netflix.

Off the back of YouTubers having such massive success, there are now all these YouTube-style shows popping up on Netflix. And some of them are essentially just big montages or repackaged versions of their long-form YouTube content.

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SAFE SPACE, NETFLIX.

I don’t actually mind the Mark Rober ones because at least they’re educational. The kids are learning about science, engineering and how things work. Fabulous.

Although Mark, if you could stop making CrunchLabs look so bloody good, that would be great. Every time I look into getting it for the kids because I think, “Oh, this will be good for their brains,” I remember it costs actual money and quietly close the tab.

But then there are the other shows.

The ones where it’s just people yelling, everything is moving at 900 kilometres an hour and I genuinely cannot work out what my child is gaining from watching it other than the ability to speak like a YouTuber.

And THAT is the bit I’ve started noticing.

They start talking like them.

Everything is YELLY. Everything is FAST. Everything is the MOST EXCITING THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN THE HISTORY OF PLANET EARTH!!!!

Mate, you’re asking me for a yoghurt. Bring it down several notches.

So I’ve now had to coin a new phrase in our house:

Watch something that’s going to make you smarter.

Which is incredibly ironic coming from a woman with a chronic reality television problem who would happily spend six consecutive hours watching grown women argue about whether someone deliberately didn’t say hello at a charity luncheon.

I’m not pretending I’m sitting down every night to watch documentaries about the Roman Empire. If there is a Real Housewives franchise available, I will find it.

But I’m also an adult whose attention span has already been destroyed by the internet. I’d quite like to give my children a fighting chance.

And that’s what frustrates me about these shows. Kids already have YouTube. They already have short-form content. They already have algorithms serving them loud, fast-paced, hyper-stimulating videos designed to keep them watching.

I don’t need that creeping into Netflix as well.

Netflix was where I could say, “Go and watch a show,” and know they might have to follow an actual storyline for 20 minutes. Characters! A plot! Something that doesn’t require someone screaming at them every seven seconds!

So Netflix, on behalf of parents everywhere: please, please, PLEASE stop putting YouTube-type shows on Netflix unless our kids are going to learn something genuinely useful from them.

Give me science. Give me animals. Give me engineering. Give me documentaries. Give me something where they accidentally learn a fact while thinking they’re being entertained.

And I don’t actually know if Danny Go originated on Netflix, but that man gets a permanent pass from me.

My kids exercise while watching television.

That is innovation.

Danny Go, you’re fab. Carry on.

Wondering how to get rid of them?

In the latest episode of A Little Bit Extra, I share how you can disable specific shows on Netflix to limit what your kids watch. Check it out below!