Let’s get one thing straight: Run It Straight is not a sport.
It’s a full-tilt, head-on collision designed for social media clout, wrapped in a cash prize and cheered on by the brain-dead masses who think seizures make for good content. Blokes – often untrained, unfit, and unprotected – run at each other like battering rams. No rules. No medics. No brains.
And now, a young man by the name of Ryan Satterthwaite has tragically lost his life, after taking part in a similar styled game.
It's important to make clear that Satterthwaite wasn't competing in one of the popular events that has been staged in New Zealand recently. He suffered a serious head injury at a property in Palmerston North, playing a Run It Straight-style game.
Run It Straight isn’t just dumb, it’s dangerous. No training. No oversight. No concern for what happens when two fully grown men crash into each other at top speed. It’s not rugby. It’s not league. It’s not even backyard footy. It’s concussion roulette.
ACC has spent millions telling us to “Give it a Hmmm.” But apparently, that message doesn’t reach everyone, specifically those who froth over videos of blokes twitching on the ground after getting KO’d.
And before anyone plays the “freedom of choice” card - spare me. Freedom comes with consequences, and these blokes clearly have no idea what the consequences are. We’re not talking bruises and sore ribs. We’re talking lifelong brain damage. CTE. Memory loss.
We wouldn’t tolerate two Super Rugby Pacific players writhing on the ground with seizures. We’d be outraged, there’d be reviews. But because this happens off the grid, away from official sport, people shrug. “Boys being boys.” No, it’s boys dying dumb deaths for dopamine hits and algorithm boosts.
I’m not here to mock them. I’m here to mourn them - and to warn the next poor kid thinking of trying it. Run It Straight isn’t tough. It’s not manly. It’s not a badge of honour. It’s an invitation to an early grave. Parents - talk to your kids, I've already talked to mine and asked them to steer well clear, regardless of how fun in the moment it feels.
To Ryan Satterthwaite’s family - my deepest, sincerest condolences.
Ban this now. Before another family gets the worst call of their lives.
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