Righto, buckle in ‘cause Mel has told us a yarn that’s gonna sting… Literally.
Last Thursday, Mel bid farewell to her fellow Morning Rumble members and headed off to the gym for an intense workout during the long weekend. What she wasn’t ready for was a wardrobe mel-function that ended with a bleeding bum. Stay with me.
Mel chucked on a g-string for her workout, and admittedly, it was a bit too small: “Unfortunately, I was wearing a size eight G-string, and I'm not a size eight anymore. I'm a comfortable size ten,” she told Bryce, Mulls and Rog.
Once she got to the end of her workout, she thought to herself “geez, it stings back there.”
And so, using her eloquent words, Mel explained, “My G-string had rubbed my butt crack so bad it had drew blood.”
Yup, Mel’s g-string was unfortunately so tight that it pretty much turned into an industrial sized piece of tooth floss and made her bum bleed.
Apparently there was no escaping the aftermath, either. “It was such a low point in my life, I was standing with my butt in the mirror… I had to bend down with my cheeks like that,” she - again - so eloquently demonstrated.
To make matters even worse, the pain didn’t stop. So, Mel had to enlist the help of her sister Emily - who’s just had a baby by the way - to “have a look and dab it properly” for her. Imagine getting through childbirth, only to have to tend to your sisters’ chaffed butt crack.
“I couldn’t wear panties for the weekend,” Mel concluded the tale about her tail.
So, what have we learned? Ladies (and gentlemen, I’m not one to judge), if the g-string doesn’t fit, don’t wear it. Your butt crack with thank you.
Listen to the full yarn below, plus hear the cheese really slide off the cracker when Bryce asks Rog about his g-string…
