Last week we published a poem that we believed to be written by famous British poet Pam Ayres. Thanks to some fabulous Kiwis, we have realised that we credited the wrong poet!
The Coronavirus poem is actually written by New Zealander Jan Beaumont. Pam Ayres even addressed it in a tweet earlier this year.
Enjoy Jan's brilliant poem below.
JAN BEAUMONT – Poem about the coronavirus
I'm normally a social girl I love to meet my mates But lately with the virus here We can't go out the gates.
You see, we are the 'oldies' now We need to stay inside If they haven't seen us for a while They'll think we've upped and died.
They'll never know the things we did Before we got this old There wasn't any FaceBook So not everything was told.
We may seem sweet old ladies Who would never be uncouth, But we grew up in the 60s – If you only knew the truth!
There was sex and drugs and rock 'n roll The pill and miniskirts We smoked, we drank, we partied And were quite outrageous flirts.
Then we settled down, got married And turned into someone's mum, Somebody's wife, then nana, Who on earth did we become?
We didn't mind the change of pace Because our lives were full But to bury us before we're dead Is like red rag to a bull!
So here you find me stuck inside For 4 weeks, maybe more I finally found myself again Then I had to close the door!
It didn't really bother me I'd while away the hour I'd bake for all the family But I've got no flaming flour!
Now Netflix is just wonderful I like a gutsy thriller I'm swooning over Idris Or some random sexy killer.
At least I've got a stash of booze For when I'm being idle There's wine and whisky, even gin If I'm feeling suicidal!
So, let's all drink to lockdown To recovery and health And hope this awful virus Doesn't decimate our wealth.
We'll all get through the crisis And be back to join or mates Just hoping I'm not far too wide To fit through the flaming gates!
- Jan Beaumont. Source.
You can see more of Jan Beaumont's incredible poetry at her website.
