Fellas! Apparently, your penis has a maintenance schedule, and a Urologist has dropped an owner’s manual to make sure you keep your wee fella happy and healthy.

Renowned Urologist Dr. Jamin Brahmbhatt - who is a microsurgeon specialising in men with infertility and chronic testicular pain, as well as an expert in the urinary system - has laid down five golden rules to keep your manhood in prime condition, as reported by LadBible. 

Let’s break it down, eh?

Rule 1: Get that blood flowing

If you want your instrument to perform, you’ve gotta keep that circulation going. It’s simple and somewhat obvious - but important, and not just for sexual health. 

Dr. Jamin told Men’s Health that doing exercise keeps your blood vessels flexible and healthy, which is “especially important to the penis, which has some of the smallest vessels in the body.”

In other words, if you can’t get blood down there, you can’t get an erection, and that can lead to other problems. 

"Guys who develop erectile dysfunction - even in their 40s - have a good chance of seeing other heart disease symptoms within the next two or three years,” the doc says.

You don’t need to become a full-on gym-bro to get some healthy blood flow, either. Dr. Jamin says he works out at least three times a week to get his blood pumping. 

Rule 2: Keep it clean

Dr. Brahmbhatt learned the hard way that harsh soaps and sensitive skin are not a match made in heaven, and trying to be ‘extra clean’ can actually backfire. He dealt with chronic dry skin and cracking (ouch), eventually opting for adult circumcision.

His advice? Ditch the hard soaps on your bits. Often, just washing it with water will do the trick. And if something feels off, like dryness or discomfort, a bit of moisturiser or medical guidance wouldn’t hurt. 

Rule 3: Stop the comparisons

The doc and his colleagues are genuinely concerned about the way porn can mess with bloke’s self-image. 

He explained that too many guys think they’re “not enough” because of what they see on screen - and then blow money on “trying to change that,” he told Men’s Health. 

But here’s the truth: the average erect penis is about five inches. That’s normal. That’s healthy. That’s enough.

"I remind them that the average erect penis is five inches and that healthy penises capable of great sex come in all sizes," he said.

Rule 4: Get some sleep, your penis needs it

We all know sleep is important, but having a good snooze is just as important to your piece as it is to your brain.

The doc explained, "Chronic sleep loss can cause testosterone to drop, which suppresses your desire and ability to have an erection.”

Lack of sleep also leads to extra body fat, and that extra fat turns testosterone into oestrogen faster - making it harder to keep your hormone levels where they should be.

In other words, sleep more, stress less, and your performance will thank you. 

Rule 5: Check ya wees

Look, having a geeze into the toilet bowl isn’t the most fun task to do, but Dr. Jamin says it is worth having a quick glance at the colour of your urine. The doc actually discovered his own kidney stone that way, after he noticed a reddish tint, got it checked out, and caught it early.

He also explained if you’re straining, dribbling, or feel like you can’t empty your bladder, don’t tough it out. It could be an infection, scar tissue, or prostate trouble. 

Don’t wait until your plumbing fully backs up - book the appointment.

So there you have it. The five-step maintenance plan your penis never knew you needed.