If you’ve had a rough weekend recently, this yarn that Brad the Boss shared with The Morning Rumble will probably make you feel a little better. Or at least, a little less dumb.
Brad, our fearless, red-wine-loving leader, had a realisation this week that he’d royally fucked up after his weekend activities.
For context, Brad underwent treatment for throat cancer a couple of years ago, and one of the lingering side effects of the radiation is getting a dry mouth.
He was warned by his radiation therapist that it’ll take a good three to four years before he should be drinking red wine, since the alcohol can irritate the fragile tissue in the throat and can cause mouth ulcers.
“I weighed the game up, going, If I do have some red wines, I’ll get a couple of ulcers in a couple of days,” Brad said.
“Thought, fuck it. It's the weekend,” he continued. Spoken like a true man of principle.
So, with Brad ignoring the advice and tucking into some reds over the weekend, naturally a couple days later he had a fresh crop of mouth ulcers and an irritated throat.
So out came his trusty dry mouth spray - his weapon of choice in the form of a spray bottle to help ease his throat.
But it wasn’t working as it usually does.
“The mouth spray wasn't working for the past two days. It's just been getting progressively worse, and the roof of my mouth was tasting really funny. My tongue was very, very scratchy.”
Fast-forward two and a half days of relentless spraying, which I can attest to, having personally seen him spraying his mouth several times during our Rock staff meeting on Mondee.
“And so I'm putting some more on and more on. And then woke up this morning, put some more in, and I looked at it and I went, ‘Oh, you fucking idiot.’”
As it turns out, it wasn’t mouth spray at all - it was his lens cleaner for his glasses. In a spray bottle that looked suspiciously similar to his mouth-spray-bottle.
Yup, for two and a half days, Brad was dousing his ulcers with reading glasses lens cleaner. The kind that’s meant to polish lenses, not soothing a human throat.
Plus Rog asked him what the lens-cleaner tasted like, to which Brad replied frankly, “it’s disgusting, Rogee. Absolutely fowl as fuck.”
And then Byce declared Brad a “dumb c**t” on-air. Perhaps one of the only times Bryce will get away with a comment like that to our boss on live radio.
So there you go - if you’re ever feeling a bit dumb, just remember, at least you didn’t spend 48 hours marinating your mouth ulcers in probably-poisonus lens spray.
Honestly BK, please never change.
