The New Zealand rugby community is still reeling after the sacking of Razor, but before the seat even has a chance to go cold, a new contender has emerged from the shadows of the corporate box. 

Andrew Mulligan, a man who has more jobs than hair follicles, has officially thrown his hat in the ring. 

Even though his highest coaching accolade so far is guiding his son’s U11 basketball team to a North Harbour Year 5 B Grade title, Mulls is ready to lead the boys in black.

“Now that Scott Robertson has been relieved of his All Blacks coaching job, I’m super keen,” said Mulls. "I'm not Razor, I’m more bread knife - a keen blade to get through to the bottom of some dough.” 

When asked about his lack of credentials, the man himself was typically unfazed. 

"How hard can it be?" Mulls stated, while not even looking away from his phone. “I've commentated the NPC, which is basically the same thing as coaching a World Cup final if you squint hard enough." 

Take it from him, he’s very familiar with squinting. 

If fans were frustrated with either Fozzy or Razor, they aren’t ready for the Mulls takeover. Sources suggest his priority is moving the coach’s bench directly into the corporate hospitality suite. 

He would also become the first head coach in history to deliver a half-time spray with a wicked wing in hand and a quarter pack on the go. 

While the NZR board is yet to comment, Mulls is already scouting for fresh talent. Looks like his entire depth chart is full of… the entire Hurricanes Super Rugby roster? 

Eager to get stuck in, Mulls confirms he is “no stranger to pressure”. After all, he delivers razor-sharp (lol, get it) zingers under the pressure of live radio each morning. 

Strap in New Zealand rugby; your new head coach may not know the first thing about set pieces, but he’s painfully confident. 

How do you stop a juggernaut? We’re about to find out.