If you’ve ever driven through Prebbleton and thought, 'Bit quiet… nice cafés… tidy lawns… I bet these people go to bed early', weeeell… turns out they do go to bed early, they’re just getting freaky once they get there.

Adult Toy Mega Store has dropped its annual list of New Zealand’s most horned-up towns, and Prebbleton has stormed past the competition to claim the title of the town that bought the most sex toys per capita this year.

One in five Prebbleton locals bought a sex toy this year. One. In. Five. That’s not just a statistic; that’s community commitment.

Last year’s champion Foxton has officially been dethroned, which I assume they’ll take on the chin… or wherever else they prefer.

Adult Toy Mega Store's Nicola Relph says the rankings aren’t just a bit of end-of-year fun, they’re about normalising sexual wellness.

“It’s always entertaining to see how each area stacks up,” she says, in the calm tone of a woman who has clearly seen some things in the annual data wrap.

"But there’s always one constant: From the far north right down to the deep south, Kiwis are taking charge of their sexual pleasure. All fun aside, our aim is to keep encouraging conversations about sex and sexual wellness." 

And honestly? Prebbleton understood the assignment. 

Coming in hot behind Prebbleton are Whangaparāoa and Paihia, proving it’s not just the waves that are crashing up north.

On a regional scale, Canterbury has absolutely dominated the per-capita rankings, bringing home the gold while Wellington and Auckland politely tussle over silver and bronze. 

Down at the bottom of the list is Tasman - which, according to the data, is not kinky, not adventurous, and possibly just very, very satisfied with the basics. Missionary and a good night's sleep, nothing wrong with that.

As for the kinds of sex toys being purchased, Kiwis across the motu are branching out.

The West Coast? Butt plug tails. The Wild West Coast indeed. Gisborne? Electro sex toys. Truly shocking behaviour from the region that already has enough lightning in summer.

NZ’s top 10 horniest towns per capita

1. Prebbleton

2. Whangaparāoa

3. Paihia

4. Te Awamutu

5. Waipū

6. Feilding

7. Masterton

8. Richmond

9. Greymouth

10. Kairua

NZ's top 10 regions for sex toy shopping per capita

1. Canterbury

2. Wellington

3. Auckland

4. Waikato

5. Otago

6. Manawatū-Whanganui

7. Taranaki

8. Bay of Plenty

9. Marlborough

10. Hawke’s Bay

So there it is: Prebbleton, New Zealand’s newest pleasure capital. Small town. Big energy.